Deserving You (A McCord Family Novel Book 3) Read online

  He frowned, a flicker of emotion, maybe regret, shined within his eyes. “I didn’t want to see you then and I don’t want to see you now. Go home.”

  “Tough. You’re my brother and I’m here for you. Quit pushing me away.”

  His face became hard as stone as he leaned closer. “Don’t make me hurt you, Deja. You know what I’m capable of. Leave me the hell alone.”

  Deja stood frozen at those words as he walked around her, shell-shocked, she let him. He couldn’t possibly mean that. He was the only family she had left.

  “Dare…it was an accident.”

  “Goddamnit, Deja!” He whipped around. “The hell it was. You know what it was. I killed our parents. Murdered them. That’s what I am. A murderer.”

  She stood in silence as he walked away, yet again. Tears rolled down as the first raindrop finally fell.

  The storm had arrived. Worse than she imagined.

  The anguish. The hurt. Her brother needed her. She needed him. Why couldn’t he see that?

  A murderer? She could never see her brother as a murderer.

  ♡

  Emmett locked the door for the evening, his chest heaving with a slight pain he wasn’t familiar with. He knew why the pain was there. It just normally never happened. If he didn’t know why, he’d think he was having a heart attack. But no. The answer was pretty simple.

  Deja.

  She always locked the office at night. He never had a need to come to the office after working hard during the day. He did anyway. To see her. Like a pathetic lovesick boy.

  He was her boss. That’s it. She’d never see him as more. Well, that’s not true. She probably saw him as a friend as well. She was best friends with Sophie, his cousin Austin’s fiancé. He tended to hang out with Austin. A lot. He was pretty sure Austin knew the reason why. He wanted to see more of Deja.

  She was too good for him. Too beautiful. Too amazing.

  Yet, she never saw him as anything other than her boss. A simple friend.

  Since the beginning, shortly after they met, she had dubbed him with the ridiculous nickname E-man. It popped out of her mouth and she had yet to change back and call him Emmett.

  Did she want to distance herself from him? Was it a good sign? Like a pet name? He couldn’t decide. What he did want was for her to call him Emmett. He enjoyed the way his name rolled off her tongue. The rare times she actually used it, that is.

  Probably best she didn’t call him that. He needed to keep it professional with her. Right before he offered her a job, her manager at her last job had grabbed her ass without permission. He fired her after she slapped him. Of course, once Ava found out, his cousin Zane’s wife, she had Deja’s manager arrested for sexual assault.

  Deja still had no job. She didn’t want to work there anymore, even after the owner of the diner said she could.

  She had stolen from Austin. Broke into his home. But she proved to him and the rest of the family she was remorseful for her actions. He wanted to help her. He also needed a damn good secretary to help him run his business. Offering her a job had seemed like the easiest solution.

  At first, she declined. He couldn’t understand it.

  Maybe it had been the way he offered the job, scrambling his words up and sounding like an idiot. I need a secretary. I won’t grab your ass without permission.

  Yeah, what a great way to ease a woman’s worry about working for a man.

  Eventually, she accepted. He couldn’t have been happier. One, because he couldn’t get enough of seeing her gorgeous face. Two, because she was the best damn secretary on the planet.

  He owned a landscaping company. He loved working with his hands. Hell, even digging in the dirt, taking a bit of ugliness and turning it into something beautiful always made him feel great.

  Which made his business sense slack. A lot. He forgot the simplest things, like where he jotted down a client’s number. He never filed anything and his inventory wasn’t always kept up to date, needing to scramble at the last minute to order something for a client.

  Then Deja stepped in.

  She had taken one look at his office, cringed with disgust, and looked at him. “E-man, once I clean this sty up, I’ll bash you over the head with my tire iron if you don’t keep this shit clean.”

  And he had. He didn’t doubt her for one second. While he knew she was just saying it to get her point across, knowing she’d never hurt him, she had a hardness about her that he didn’t doubt she could get lethal.

  She also had a lingering pain. Not that she displayed it too often. Today was an exception. Her eyes bled with suffering. He wanted to know why. Burned with agony to know.

  She dodged him like she always does when he tried to get a little personal. She rarely shared much about herself. He wanted to know it all.

  Emmett parked his car in front of Austin’s house and got out before he changed his mind. He had no reason to stop by for a visit. Hopefully a good excuse came to him by the time he knocked on the door. Would talking about the weather and the nasty storm they had earlier be a dumb reason? Probably.

  The lights were on in the house next to Austin’s—Sophie’s house. About two months ago, Sophie finally caved in and moved in with Austin. She enjoyed her freedom. Her space. Austin basically lived with Sophie in her house, sleeping over almost every night. It didn’t seem practical to live out of both houses. The most logical reason of all, they were getting married. They had a choice to make. Whose house did they live in?

  Austin had a mortgage. Sophie’s house was paid off. Her father left it to her when he died. The wonderful friend that Sophie was, she told Deja she could keep living there. Deja insisted on paying her rent. Emmett respected her for that. He knew Sophie didn’t want her money. Deja wanted to know she could make it on her own. Paying rent said she could.

  Damn, he wanted to know her every little secret. Would she ever share with him?

  He knocked on the door. A few seconds later, it opened to the sweetest smile he always loved seeing. “My favorite girl. I missed you. How are you?” He stepped inside and pulled Sophie into a hug.

  She chuckled as she squeezed him tightly. “You saw me yesterday. How could you miss me that much?”

  He laughed when he caught Austin’s glare. “Not flirting. I swear.”

  “Better not be. I’d kick your ass.” Austin stood up from the couch and grinned at Sophie. “Sorry, my pixie angel, I didn’t mean to swear.”

  “Of course you didn’t.” Sophie closed the door. “Did you eat yet, Emmett? I can heat you up some dinner.”

  Emmett shook his head. “I’m good. I’m not too hungry, unless you have pie.”

  “Actually, I do.” She smiled, a bit deviously. “It’s for Deja, though. It’s cooling down. Could you be a doll and bring it to her?”

  “Uh…” Emmett watched as Sophie walked away before he could properly answer. He turned to Austin. “Am I that obvious?”

  Austin walked around the couch laughing like a jackal. “That you like Deja like there’s no tomorrow? Hell, yes.”

  Emmett groaned. “Do you think Deja knows? I’m trying to keep it professional. I’m her boss. Not to mention, she never looks at me like I want her to. She’s a woman that is very unattainable.”

  “You’re an idiot, Emmett. She’s not unattainable. She just has secrets that are holding her back. Did she call you?”

  “No. Why?” Emmett didn’t like the frown that crossed over Austin’s face. “Did something happen?”

  Austin nodded. “She almost hit a deer. Sophie’s car might be totaled. She hit the ditch pretty hard and the front is banged up. We’ll know more tomorrow.”

  Emmett’s heart plummeted to the floor. He forced himself to slow his breathing down and not rush across the yard to Deja’s house. “Is she okay? Did she get hurt?”

  “She said she’s fine and—”

  “It sounds like you don’t know for sure. Does she need to go to the hospital? What happe—”

  Emmett
turned as a soft hand touched his shoulder. Sophie smiled warmly. “She’s okay, Emmett. Calm down.” She held out a pie. “Go see for yourself. You know how tough Deja acts. If she says she’s fine, she is. It doesn’t mean she couldn’t use a friend to keep her company.”

  He nodded and took the pie from her. “Apple pie. It smells delicious, Soph.” He started for the front door. A soft chuckle rumbled behind him. He glanced at Austin. “Something funny?”

  Austin joined Sophie and wrapped his arm around her. “Just curious about the reason for your visit. Did you have one?”

  “I can’t say hi to my cousin and his beautiful fiancé? Is that a crime?” Emmett refused to let the embarrassment show that he was so transparent when it came to Deja. Yet, he could feel the heat rising from his neck to his cheeks. Blushing, over a damn woman. Well, there was a first time for everything. Never in his life had he blushed over a woman. Until now.

  Austin laughed. “If you say so, buddy.”

  Ignoring Austin and his aggravating laugh, he walked out of the house. He hadn’t been teased about a woman since the ninth grade when he wanted to ask Julie Callohoun to the homecoming dance. She had been a senior, way out of his league, but so damn beautiful and popular he couldn’t help but want to take her to the dance. He lost his chance when he took too long to ask her. Brett Johnson, the star quarterback, also a senior, beat him to it. He probably wouldn’t have had a chance in the world if he would’ve asked her out.

  He probably didn’t have a chance in the world if he asked out Deja. Way too unattainable.

  “Keep your cool. Don’t freak out. Austin and Sophie said she’s fine.” Emmett blew out a deep breath and knocked once on the door.

  A few seconds later, Deja opened the door. Her beauty, as always, nearly knocked him on his ass. Her blonde hair lay beautifully in soft waves, yet almost appeared bedraggled. Not nearly as perfect when he saw her earlier. She looked okay. On the outside.

  But her eyes.

  Her gorgeous blue eyes, that always sparkled like the deep blue sea, shined with agony. It’s as if she wasn’t even trying to hide it from him.

  “Hi, E-man. Why do you have pie?”

  He lifted it with a smile. “Sophie asked me to deliver it to you. I’m hoping I get a piece.”

  She laughed and rolled her eyes, the sound lifting his spirits. “Of course you do. Come in.”

  Holding the door open a little wider, he stepped inside and turned around as she closed the door. “You’re not gonna make me beg for a piece?”

  “I should.” She tried to smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You’re a great boss, though. You can have a small piece. Small. Sophie did make the pie for me.” She pointed at him, as if she was trying to exert her meanness. All he could see was her pain.

  Who caused it? What happened today besides the accident?

  He followed her to the kitchen and set the pie on the counter. Deja grabbed two plates from the cupboard and snatched two forks and a knife from the drawer near the refrigerator.

  She started to cut two pieces of pie. One slice was large, while the other, tiny. As much as he loved Sophie’s pie, he wasn’t in the mood for even a tiny piece. He didn’t care what piece Deja was planning to give him. That said enough. The worry was swimming through his veins.

  “Are you okay?”

  She glanced at him. The knife froze in her hand. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Austin said you almost hit a deer. Are you sure you’re not hurt? The car hit the ditch.” Emmett wanted to wrap her in his arms. Her facial expression didn’t bode well that she’d be receptive to that kind of gesture. So he didn’t move a muscle.

  “I’m fine. Not a scratch on me.” She handed him a plate, the large piece of pie on it.

  He followed her to the table and took a seat across from her. “Doesn’t mean you didn’t get hurt.”

  Her knuckles turned white, as if she were exerting too much pressure holding the fork. “I said I was fine, E-man.”

  “How did your appointment go? Did you hit the deer before or after? I hope you weren’t late.”

  His hand paused, the fork dangling in front of his mouth as her face became ashy-white. Tears started to form in the corner of her eyes. He had never seen her look so vulnerable. “Deja…what did I say? What—”

  “I didn’t hit the deer.” Her face became hard as the water in her eyes disappeared.

  “You’re avoiding my original question. Does that mean your appointment didn’t go well? Where did you go?”

  She stood up so fast from the table she knocked her chair over. “I think it’s time you leave, E-man. I don’t want to talk about it. I won’t be put on an interrogation.” She grabbed her plate, her pie barely touched, and tossed it into the sink.

  Standing up, not one bite of his pie consumed, he couldn’t make his feet work. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to pull her into his arms and soothe her torment away. Why did she almost cry? Never, not once, had he ever seen tears in her eyes.

  “It’s okay to talk sometimes. It’s okay to let someone else in. You don’t have to be strong and tough all the time, Deja. We’re friends. I’m here for you. For anything. I wasn’t interrogating you. I was trying to be your friend. You have no idea how much I want to pull you into my arms and hug you. You look like you need a hug so badly.” He sighed, knowing that was probably the dumbest thing he ever said to her. “I know you’re not gonna budge, though, and more than likely, find that trusty tire iron of yours. So I’ll leave. See you tomorrow.”

  He walked out of the kitchen before he went against his word and yanked her into his arms anyway. He had talked to her back the entire time. She was effectively shielding herself from him, not even letting him read her eyes. Did she know how well he could read her? How well he could see the pain she tried so hard to conceal?

  He grabbed the door handle.

  “Emmett…”

  His body froze as his name rolled off her tongue with such delicate softness. She hadn’t uttered his real name in months. He wanted to hear it again.

  “I could really use that hug.”

  Chapter 2

  So damn weak. She couldn’t believe she followed him out of the kitchen and stopped him from leaving. Actually said that she could use a hug. The way he said it, she knew she had to take it from him. Could he make the hurt disappear…just for a moment?

  Emmett glanced over his shoulder, dropped his hand from the doorknob, and took three long strides before he reached her. He didn’t hesitate. She didn’t push him away.

  His warmth wrapped around her, cocooning her. A sense of safety overwhelmed her. How long had it been since she felt safe? How long had it been since she felt like someone cared?

  She knew Sophie cared. As a friend. This hug. This moment in his arms. This felt like more than friendship.

  Her arms snaked around his waist and her hands slid up his back. He shivered. Did she get to him as much as he did to her?

  She could wipe her pain away easily. It would all fade away if she let Emmett consume her, take her to the height of pleasure. But at what cost?

  Her head rested against his chest, the steady beat of his heart soothing. Neither of them spoke. She didn’t know what to say. Perhaps he didn’t either. Was he as shocked as her that she asked for the hug he offered? A hug that felt like so much more. Or did her wild imagination want it to be something more? Wanting Emmett was bad. She knew this. Hiding her emotions toward him was crucial. But his warm arms around her made her forget why she needed to avoid him.

  Her hands moved higher on their own accord, running her fingertips through his hair. He shivered again at her touch. Lifting her head, she pressed her lips to his before she could think about what she was doing.

  He jerked, then opened his mouth to her insistence. Their tongues swirled together, her body molding closer to his. She could feel his hard arousal against her. He wanted her. How could he want someone like her?

  He only offered a hu
g. Here she was, taking more, demanding more than he offered.

  She didn’t care. Increasing the kiss, she tried to press into him some more. The movement made him stumble back a few steps. She kept in tune with his steps until she had him pressed against the wall. The kiss turned hotter.

  Emmett grabbed her face gently and pushed her lips away. “What is this, Deja? Because this doesn’t feel like a simple hug anymore.”

  “Don’t you want me? Because you’re feeling mighty nice to me right now.” She rubbed against him, even as she did, hating herself for it. She was using him. Burying the hurt in mindless sex would erase the memories from earlier. At least for a while.

  “What happened today?”

  He obviously read her like a book. Just like that, the memories assaulted her. She shoved away and turned her back to him. What did she do?

  A large hand touched her shoulder. Touched her heart. “As much as I enjoyed that kiss, I want you to talk to me. You’re hurting. I want to help.”

  Turning around, his hand dropped. She slid her hands up his chest, relishing in the way he shivered, yet again, at her light touch. “You can help me.”

  He grabbed her hands and clutched them tightly, but didn’t remove them from his chest. “Not like this. Don’t make this into something cheap. I won’t let you do that. Talk to me first, then I’ll make you feel good.”

  His words lit her body on fire. She didn’t want to talk. She wanted his hands roaming her body until she forgot every little thing that happened today.

  “Emmett…” She purred his name, knowing as she did, she would regret her actions tomorrow. “How long have you wanted me? I never knew.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Call me E-man if you’re going to talk to me like that. You can’t hide behind sex, Deja. What happened today?”

  She laughed. Almost an evil sounding laugh. “I could make you feel good, E-man.”

  His lips thinned into a hard line. He didn’t speak for several seconds. It felt like hours. Then, to her surprise, he squeezed her hands hard and dropped his lips to hers. The kiss scorched her to the bone. Nothing in the kiss said soft and tender. It felt like an enraging inferno, a volcano that just erupted. As if all his pent up emotions, all he hid from her, poured into the kiss. Did that mean he had wanted her for a long time? She had been joking. Maybe there was actual truth to what she said. What was she doing to this man? What kind of bridge did she just create between them?